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5
AUGUST 7th (2007)
YOU SURE HAVE
COME A LONG WAY, JAKE
Holy shit!
photo circa 1989
FROM SHITTIN'

Now legal!
photo © Jesse James
TO SHIT-FACED!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAKE!

4
(Run on the front page November 2006):
"Why can't you do it?
Why can't you set your monkey free?"
--Profesa KY

OK, so the link above eventually expired.  But the thing was funny.

3

POLICE SEEK AZLE MAN IN CONNECTION WITH "MUSICAL" MURDERS

FORT WORTH - FRIDAY JULY 28, 2006

Fort Worth police announced today that they have been actively seeking an Azle man wanted in connection with a gruesome string of unprovoked murders.  The most recent one occurred July 22nd at the Ridglea Theater during a Blackwater concert.

"We had thought to keep the investigation under wraps, but our efforts to find this man have thus far resulted in no arrests or information as to the killer's true identity" Officer Frank Lee Spoken revealed to the media on Friday.

Authorities had hoped to keep the event out of the press to ease concerns that Blackwater concerts were no longer a safe venue for instruments to attend.  Officials at BlackwaterRock.com were able to obtain exclusive footage of video captured during the murder itself from an unnamed source who attended the concert.



D-Tiddy, owner of the most recently murdered bass guitar and self-proclaimed manager of the band Blackwater, spoke at the press conference to give a personal slant to what some may dismiss as an otherwise unimportant event.  Through tears, he cried, "The perpetrator of this evil has no regard for instrument life.  The audience even thought it to be some pre-planned event and did not care that it had even occurred." 

Attendees of other Blackwater concerts this summer claim it is not the first bass killed during a Blackwater concert, and many believe it has been the same man each time.

Ryan Stacy, a fan and friend of the band, stated he believes the killer has some connection to the band Blackwater, and provided key details that led police to believe the man is from the city of Azle.  "If I find this guy before the police do," he said, "I am gonna kick his scrawny ass."

Police hope that anyone with any information that might help authorities with this investigation will contact them immediately at 1-888-UMO-RONS.

2

June 29th mention on Blabbermouth.net

1

June 28th mention on Blabbermouth.net


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